Captain Diarrhea and The Shartening

You, Carl Bungus, once lived a happy, content life of guzzling energy drinks and slamming pizza pops, wasting away on your couch in your disgusting, roach-infested apartment. That was, until they took you.

As part of a human enhancement project, a covert unnamed division of the US military began their trials, on you, subject 21. They cut, and injected, and drained, and spliced, granting you unexpected new abilities. Gross abilities. But, no normal human could survive the kind of physical trauma that you have undergone. In fact, your butt is the only thing that even works on you anymore.

Realizing that you won't make it out of this alive, you resolve to make them pay for what they've done to you. You will use your powers against them. Take them all out. Every. Last. One. This project needs to be shut down for good, and you are the only one who can.